


Mind How She Goes

by Tolpen



Series: Of Fire, Five, And Softness [2]
Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls Online
Genre: Alcohol, Don't copy to another site, Found Family, Gallows Humor, everyone is okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21622048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tolpen/pseuds/Tolpen
Summary: Late evening talks at a campfire between three of the Five Companions. Lyris is tipsy and has a bad feeling, Abnur is being his insufferable self, featuring Sai as the voice of insight and reason.Set at an undefined point after the whole Dragonhold ordeal. Everyone is okay, physically at least, and the author, that's me, is using this as a somewhat coping mechanism. Includes no spoilers.
Series: Of Fire, Five, And Softness [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566313
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Mind How She Goes

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been playing ESO for two months or so now, and because I've always wanted to be an orc necromancer (WoW has left its scars on me and Ner'zhul remains to be one of my faves), I've started with Elsweyr (the fact that I main a Khajit Warden is a whole different thing, and if you want I can talk about that at lengths too).  
> Let me tell you: The whole Northern Elsweyr I hoped Abnur Tharn would turn out to be the big evil dude, because I hated his guts. Then I finished the thing, began ye olde main quest with Coldharbour because I've found out it has more of Cadwell who's a precious. And guess who I ran into? Abnur Tharn, portrayed as a bad guy, and I just can't wait till we get thourgh the "oh, he's not actually bad" to the "he's been on our side all along" part. (Who am I kidding, we are on _his_ side, not the other way around.) Fast forward two weeks and I realize that despite the fact that I cannot say anything good-and-subjective about him, he is my favourite character. And three days or so after that some motherducker on Tumblr doesn't tag their spoilers for Dragonhold and now I have to deal with that. Hmph.  
> What I am trying to say is, that the shrine to my favourite characters is build entirely of NaCl, but I've now come to the terms with it.
> 
> Changelog:  
> 7th DEC 2019: Changed the title from _Thingus Maximus_ to _Mind How She Goes_.

Witches have pricking in their thumbs, Varen had his stomach worms, and Lyris had her teeth. She could feel them vibrating in her gums. It usually went away with a couple of flagons of mead, but apparently not tonight. If anything, it made it worse. So here she was, Lyris called Titanborn, tipsy but not yet drunk, sitting by the campfire with the two of Companions and a growing feeling of dread as her teeth planned to run for the hills. It made her only more irritated.

Considered that one of the other two people was Abnur bloody Tharn, it was a major miracle she hadn't taken to breaking stuff such as the firewood, pottery or necks. On the other hand, the other Companion was Sai Sahan, so it was not so major miracle. It was his campfire after all, Lyris just sat down when she stumbled upon him beyond the city walls. Why Tharn joined them was a mystery she didn't ponder much. The Queen probably growled at him to go bother someone else, and so he did. Ever since he didn't even wish them a good evening he'd done nothing but needle into them. And it could have been such a nice and a tad bit romantic evening.

“By the Eight,” she sighs as she noted her drinking horn has gone dry again, “Tharn, you and your yakking makes me wish I had died for real.”

“Oh sure,” Tharn breaks a twig and tosses it into the fire. “I personally would have been grateful for that too. Grateful enough to provide the flowers for your funeral, even.”

Lyris frowns at him: “Yeah? And what flowers? Snow lilies?”

“If you insist on snow lilies.” There is a vague shrug and another snap of a broken twig. (Where Tharn keeps finding twigs in all this sand and scarce grass is yet a another mystery, but one the Sober Lyris can wonder about.) “But that'd be too feminine for you. I was thinking on throwing in some columbine.”

“Why, pray tell, columbine?” She knows she is going to regret asking, but in the moment she and her twitching teeth cannot help it.

“To make everyone aware you've broken my nose.” Tharn's grin is victorious. Lyris performs another miracle by not helping him to get rid of some of those teeth, no matter how precise surgical tool her fist is.

Instead she sneers: “Oh, how considerate of you. Let me guess, you'll also provide my enemies to the funeral to bury me with, won't you?”

He reaches back to the firewood. So _this_ is where's been getting the twigs from! “Sure. But do me a favour, choose some clean partners to your bed then. I'd hate to have bring down Peryite just because you've decided to kick the bucket of syphilis.”

This time Lyris isn't able to to hold it it, besides her teeth are driving her crazy. She gives the swing everything and works it from the shoulder. The perfect right hook if you asked her, which you didn't.

The hit doesn't connect, although Tharn flinches back so hard he lands his back into the sand. Lyris finds out she can't move her hand or writhe it free of Sai's grasp. She protests: “Hey! You've heard him, he's earned it!”

“Yes, I did hear him,” Sai nods and doesn't let go. “But I've also come to the realization that in many aspects Abnur Tharn is like the Daedric Prince Azura.”

“Excuse you,” the aforementioned pulls himself back into a decent sitting position and dusts himself off, “I have nothing in common whatsoever with _any_ Daedra whatsoever. Don't compare me to one.” Everyone ignores him.

“Like Azura, he is dawn and dusk.”

“I don't see what you see in that son of a horker who's just called me a whore.”

“Well,” Sai's beard parts in a smile, “for a starter, he's just said he's just said he'd kill a Daedric Prince to avenge you.”

The two warriors turn their heads to Tharn. His expression doesn't change and if he flushed, the night hides it. He stands up abruptly: “I should go. It's late.”

“Oh no, none of that.” Sai pulls him back down. “Now you'll spill out how you have our funereals planned out, since you've long time ago cam to terms with the fact that you are most likely to outlive the both of us.”

Tharn looks at them with the sour grimace of a defeat. “Fine. For a starter, I am not going to have a speech.”

Lyris can feel her canines begging for freedom at this point. “I thought that I liked you more when I thought you didn't give a damn. And I didn't like you one bit.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's been nice to write something short again. Spur of the moment, to get it down before I forget. I was tipsy when I wrote this.
> 
> And like always: If you ask me nicely, there might be more of this, because I have Ideas. And feed me some comments, maybe? Comments are good, you know.


End file.
